I have realized and uncovered so many things in therapy – one thing is the courage to be in public who I am in private with my friends. It’s a very long list this year – but from 2017-2019 I have been freed from:

1) the fear of actually being an iconoclast (as read in my bio for years), what that means, and standing firmly in it.

2) the need to hide that i take a few different meds and go to therapy for healing of traumas, misinterpretations and destructive behaviors. gotta put some action behind your prayers if you truly want to be free.

3) the heartbroken-level grief of my dad joining the ancestors. i’m realizing that since energy cannot be created or destroyed, he is still here with me.

4) the stigma of believing in metaphysics. the greatest lesson my mother taught me growing up was learning and believing in the power of the earth AND the power of the spiritual. they are not mutually exclusive. we are beings who emit energy. science has documented this. i collect crystals, listen to frequencies while sleeping, burn sage and palo santo, numerology, astrology, chakras, herbs and more. i’m able to reconcile it with my faith in Yeshua.

5) reading the bible, which i believe was put together as a means of social control. i mean, it WAS the 1600s. there are gems in the other books, but i only read the red letters, which were confirmed by many eyewitnesses. i told the creator 10 years ago that if i couldn’t experience the same god today that they write about in all religions’ holy scriptures – then i don’t want it at all. ever since that day, the spirit shows itself to me *every single day*. my faith in a creator god is unshakable.

6) believing god is only male. belief in a male god is the root of all sexism and misogyny. furthermore, without sounding hoteppy, god is in us, we are gods (as the scriptures state). god placed on earth everything we need to live abundant lives – capitalism and the evil remnants of colonialism prevent us from doing so. it isn’t that god didn’t hear the cries of the enslaved during 400 years of slavery, Reconstruction, Jim Crow, and police brutality – men prevent us from living as god intended. the love of money IS the root of all evil.

7) raising my children to conform. i tell them sit to down during the pledge of allegiance and the national anthem in school. the words you speak have power and i refuse for my family to pledge allegiance to a country that continues to shit on black people. NOPE.

8.) not talking about the female reproductive system in public – i talk openly about menstruation with men in the room. talk about high libidos and how women love sex too, slutwalk, hoes, and how to effectively use the rhythm method and menstrual cups. perhaps a greater understanding of how complex it is will help them vote for leaving our uteri the fuck alone.

9) not putting my actions behind my allyship. especially as concerns political/womens/race/sexuality issues. i’m outchea at town hall meetings, meeting our prosecutors, attending informative lectures about MO prisons. i’m also EXTREMELY committed to teaching your sons and daughters about the plight of marginalized peoples in this country. PERIOD.

10) believing that white and black feminism are the same – too often the plight of BW are not considered and omitted from movements, the intersectionality of BW is not or under acknowledged, and the problems/solutions BW face with their men are extraordinarily different from the problems WW experience with theirs.

not the end, but I’m adding more as I think of them.